Staccato on a Metrorail Green Line train, mid-afternoon on the return commute

Comments

[this is good]
i know exactly what you mean... once the guy leaves everyone looks at each other and smiles. it's funny that it takes something uncomfortable ending for you to look someone else in the eyes on the metro just to make sure you weren't the only one that just saw that :o)

good to see you again!
[this is good]
It's not that you need to further develop the urbanite skin, it's that some people plain and simple have a bad vibe.
[this is good]
Hey MetroRider! I'm a rare native Washingtonian. Rode the Metro for a good ten years (live in Fredneck, now), and I have similar stories to tell.

The best was the time this woman got on in downtown DC, the Orange line train to New Carrollton. Didn't take long to notice she seemed out of it, not to mention one boob was hanging out of her halter top.

As is custom, everyone tried not to look and mind their own business. She was talking to herself and I was trying to figure if she was retarded or on drugs.

After a while she started asking people when train stopped at a station if it were the Baltimore station. People ignored her as they exited. I was getting worried for her. She obviously was too out of it to realize she was on a Metro train that ended its run in the DC suburbs, 30 miles short of Baltimore.

At New Carrollton, I guess she noticed everyone was getting off 'cause she exited too. She asked people if this was Baltimore but the moved on. Feeling sorry for her, I told her this wasn't Baltimore but I would try to help find transportation there.

Luckily, the New Carrollton station shares space with a MARC commuter train stop. I knew there was a MARC to Baltimore or least close to Baltimore.

First problem was getting her through the turnstile. She was holding her farecard in her hand--completely crumpled up. I tried to persuade the Metro employees to let her through, showing them the card as proof that she did at least buy a farecard. I didn't have anything smaller than a $20 so I couldn't just buy her a new one.

So we begged. Finally someone gave me enough money to buy a farecard. We exited and walked over to the MARC station.

I asked for a ticket for the next train to Baltimore. The fare was $6, so I figured I buy the ticket as a charitable act. (She didn't have any money.)

Pulled out my $20, and was told sorry, sir, after 6 pm we don't give change. I explained the situation to no avail.

I really didn't want to pay $20 for a $6 ticket so we were back to begging strangers for change. We weren't haven't any luck when this woman said to me, "You look like you have some money, why don't you take me to dinner?"

What? Okay, apparently I'm more worried about getting her home than she is. No, I said, we have to get you Baltimore. Unless you have some other place near here you can go.

Her reply: "I bet if I gave you a blowjob you'd give me that $20."

Alright, that was enough playing Saint Francis for me. I said, "Look over there," pointing behind her. She looked and I scampered up the escalator.

My wife was already parked and waiting. I jumped and said, "Hurry, let's go. I explain later."

Never found out what happened to that woman.

Postscript: I told this sorry to some of my family one night when we eating dinner at my Mom's, on her screened-in porch. After I finished the story, I started taking dishes into the kitchen.

Later, my sister told me that when I was in the kitchen, my Mom (a strict Catholic) asked: "What's a blowjob?"


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MetroRider

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